Can I be totally honest with you? I didn’t expect the WaterSlyde to work. Don’t get me wrong–I thought it was cool. Overdue, even.

Lots of women use the flow of water in their showers and tubs to masturbate. I, however, am not one of them. Maybe it’s because I have a literal walk-in closet full of sex toys, but when I want to come in the tub, I bring something vibrating along.

When I decided to bathe with the WaterSlyde tonight, I assumed I’d try it for a bit, clean up, the get out and finish my journey. I was daydreaming about what which toy(s) I’d follow up with even as I opened the WaterSlyde’s box and read the instructions. I knew that it attached to the faucet, redirecting the flow of water. What I didn’t realize was that you tie it on with an enclosed ribbon. I chuckled in disapproval (a ribbon will never work) and was sort of delighted to see that the position of the faucet in my tub seemed like it would make matters difficult. I felt fondly towards this toy, I really did, but I almost wanted it to fail. I was at least happy for a hurdle.

Then I went to tie it on and noticed that the “ribbon” is actually pretty grippy. I was filled with a new sense of respect for the creators of the WaterSlyde. This wasn’t just some mansy pansy cheap satin ribbon, it was actually a legitimate means of securing the toy DISGUISED as a ribbon. Genius!

I was awed again when I realized that the position of my faucet worked just fine with the WaterSlyde. It’s super easy to adjust, and thanks to that “ribbon,” it stays put. Getting into position was quick and easy.

The water felt good. Like, really good. It was immediately arousing. Like, really arousing. After only a minute I started wondering if this could actually make me come.

I shrugged off the thought. Of COURSE it couldn’t. I decided to lie back and enjoy myself, maybe even close my eyes and fantasize a bit. That’s when I realized that there was a very real possibility that this toy was going to make me come.

And it did! This toy, this plastic slide attached to my bathtub with a ribbon, this device that, itself, didn’t actually touch me at all, gifted me with a howling good orgasm that left me mumbling “holy shit” over and over in its wake. It was shocking. I was shocked.

I should also mention that the WaterSlyde is a great tool for keeping super clean. Simple flowing warm water is one of the best tools for maintaining good hygiene.

First thing Monday morning, I’m emailing the good–nay, great–folks at Water Slyde and asking how I can get the products in my stores. If you’re reading this, they’re already there. Even if you don’t think bathtub masturbation is your thing, you’ve got to give this baby a try.

Used with kind permission from Alison Barber and our friends at Taboo.