Abuse, Power, and Excuses in the BDSM Community

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Oh boy ya'll, this is going to be a heavy one. Content warning for discussion of: manipulation tactics, condom use, sex, abuse of authority, power dynamics and community leaders. Please take care of yourself if you choose to watch this video.

Today's discussion revolves around a particular happening on Fetlife. Namely, there was a group of 2, then 3 then 4 (maybe more) people who can forward to share their experiences about a particular individual they had all interacted with. Normally, stories of abuse in the world of kink revolve around issues in a scene: ignored safewords for example. This went beyond that, into the nature of the relationships themselves.

But today I want to talk not just about this persons actions, or what they did. But the reaction our community had, the excuses, the minimization. And what I think of these reactions, and how we can do better to keep people safe.


Art by: @animositi on Instagram

Credits/Attribution (Music):

Artist: Audionautix

Website: http://audionautix.com/

Track: Transportation

Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license


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