1. He's A Natural
He already knows all the moves..."trust me, I'm really, really good."
2. The Hair
Donald's hairdo is so properly kept that it puts Peter North's untouchable quiff to shame.
3. The Face
He's already mastered one of the most difficult skills in the porn industry - the "Porn Face"
4. Small Hands
It's all about perspective. His really small hands would make his penis look huuuuggggeee!
5. The Skin Color
His healthy orange glow makes him a shoo-in to star in a Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory Porn Parody.
6. The Mouth
Sure it spouts endless non-sensible hate filled noise but it could also double as a 2nd asshole. Imagine how much cash he would make performing in the world's first "double anal" scene. "The Man With 2 Assholes"
7. Switch Hitter
Willingness to pitch and catch makes him a double threat superstar in gay and straight porn. He also enjoys eating a bowl of dicks so he must love gay men. #ilovegaysex
Strangely, Donald told Howard Stern in 2004 he's 'not into anal'. Nothing but a tease.
8. Member of the Sleazeball Alliance
He's been accused of alleged rape. He and James Deen should become fast friends.
9. Loves Shemales
Ivana is a man right? Or at least a lady with man parts...
10. Knowledge of STDs
Everyone know that if you want to perform in the porn biz you got to get tested. Donald knows all about this. He told shock jock Howard Stern that he felt 'lucky' not to have picked up an STD while sleeping around during the 80's. 'It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier,' he said. Thank you for your service!
11. Willing to Incest
Good old DT once said, "I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
12. He's Uses All The Best Sex Positions
Enough said.